“Man that guy’s haulin!”
I can’t remember what type of car it was. I can’t remember the year, though it had to be in the 80s. I don’t remember what day of the week and I don’t remember how fast the driver was going.
I do remember two things about this speeding violation:
1. It occurred on Halloween.
2. The driver was Bozo the Clown.
Huh?
No, not the real Bozo, but a guy who paid well over $100 to have an incredibly professional makeup job that made him look exactly like the real Bozo the Clown. To this day, I remember how remarkable the artistry was. It was amazing. What was even more amazing was his reaction when I told him he had to wipe the makeup off.
“What?!” he exclaimed. “Are you serious?!”
“Why yes I am, sir,” I replied. “Wipe it off.”
“But I just paid a (expletive commonly used to describe a large sum) of money to have this done! Why do I have to wipe it off?”
“Because I have to be able to identify you in court.”
“I won’t go to court. I swear to God I’ll pay the fine by mail.”
I responded, “I can’t trust you, sir. I have to be prepared. Wipe it off.”
Upon hearing the order again his pointed blue hairpieces started shaking, his bulbous red nose drooped, and his happy clown face turned to a sad clown frown as tears began to smear his professional clown make-up.
“I’m just screwing with ya. I can’t give a ticket to Bozo. Slow down. Have fun at your party,” I said.
With that, a real smile augmented his fake clown smile and he waved happily as he drove off.
Halloween is a fun time to be a cop...
I used to drive around in my squad with a Frankenstein mask on. I loved to see the faces of people I pulled up next to. Everyone – and I mean everyone who looked at me – would break out laughing after a second or two of trying to comprehend what they were seeing.
Like many of the cops, I also enjoyed driving around with candy so I could hand it out to the kids. Costumed children would go crazy as they realized a police officer was participating in the candy giveaway ritual.
Driving up slowly behind trick-or-treaters and yelling “BOO!” over the PA system was also quite enjoyable.
Halloween is an opportunity to be a part of the community. It’s a chance to bond with your beat and show the kids that you are human – someone with a sense of humor, someone they can trust.
...but be aware of real-life risks on halloween
There is a serious downside. Some of these costumes can be troublesome. Several years ago in California, police responded to a loud party call. It was a Halloween party. A guest was dressed as a gangster with a prop handgun.
When the police arrived he assumed they were in costume too and pointed his pretend pistol at the officers. The officers, not realizing the gun was fake, pulled their real ones. Shots were fired and the pretend gangster died.
Halloween is both an opportunity and a snake pit for police officers.
Alcohol flows as much as it does on New Year’s Eve and St. Pat’s. Just ask any of the campus cops around the country.
Patrolling on Halloween can be fun but it also presents some very real dilemmas. Patience is needed but vigilance must be kept.
Bring some candy. Wear a silly mask. But remember your vest and your tactics.
Stay safe out there for all of you brothers and sisters in blue who will be on duty. Happy Halloween.
This article, originally published 10/30/2009, has been updated.
