One night, a supervisor asked me if it was common to have no motivation, no interest, no feelings, no will, and instead be consumed by anxiety, disappointment and depression. There is a point that many officers reach that is described as living with an absence of purpose. Each day is overflowing with anticipation, frustration, excessive worry, fatigue, complacency and boredom.
The need for catharsis
Officers often are in need of a “catharsis.” A catharsis is an emotional release resulting in improved insight, relief of current symptoms and a positive outlook. The origin of this concept is thousands of years old, and it comes from the Greek word “katharsis,” which means “to cleanse.”
The journey begins
We begin our career with an elevated spirit, curiosity, interest, drive and resilience. Over time, officers experience relentless harmful sights and sounds that pave a path to an unavoidable and sometimes permanent change in our psychological organization (personality) and our application of morals (character).
Internal department struggles
Often, officers struggle more with the issues inside the department rather than outside. Within the department walls, officers struggle with the real vs. ideal self. This is the illusion where one can never acknowledge their true feelings, which tend to worsen over time.
There are several behaviors associated with this struggle:
- Rationalization: The officer makes excuses to block anxiety to preserve the ideal image.
- Excessive self-control: Leads to not allowing emotions to be heard and losing the ability to be spontaneous.
- Externalization: Excessively broadcasting emotions to the department.
- Arbitrary rightness: An officer’s struggle with constant uncertainty, countered by always being “right.”
- Elusiveness: Avoiding being wrong by not taking a side or position.
The dialectical state
Possibly the biggest struggle is the dialectical state, which is “concerned with or acting through opposing forces.” Internally, officers experience opposing sides for the survival of their careers, as well as an environment that creates the same push-pull, anti-harmony, cohesionless and disputatious workplace. This slowly over time causes the triad of anxiety, disappointment and depression. The conditional love-hate relationships within the department contribute to long-term fatigue and cynicism, typically followed or accompanied by isolation, aggression, and addiction.
Finding catharsis
Building awareness
First, we begin by building an awareness of our suffering or what we perceive as suffering. We “believe” we are suffering based on internal and external factors. The answers to catharsis lie in internal factors. Dr. Viktor Frankl, one of the medical field’s most well-known psychiatrists, developed the “means in suffering” approach to therapy.
Dr. Frankl, an Auschwitz survivor, wrote the world-renowned bestseller “Man’s Search for Meaning.” In his book, he describes that suffering is not necessary to find meaning. He writes that meaning is possible despite whatever suffering you are going through. However, we have to accept that suffering is unavoidable. We must tell ourselves each day, “I am ready, prepared, and willing to suffer, as long as it has meaning.”
Frankl says that we must suffer bravely, which promotes meaning. One should ask themselves every patrol shift if their suffering is avoidable, then the next thing to do is to identify and uproot its cause. Anxiety, depression and disappointment have a cause.
Finding meaning
A bridge from this concept is an “every patrol shift effort” to find meaning in things — meaning in the conversations you have, the aloneness in your patrol vehicle, the partner who is your friend one day and ignores you the next, the guilt for not acting fast enough, the regret of embarrassing another officer, or even the disappointment of not getting a promotion. Even demotion can result in a promotion later down the road; maybe this time around just wasn’t the right time, and there is meaning behind it.
This does not mean searching for the “why” in things. That search, some theorists say, is the fuel of anxiety. The search for meaning is the commitment to turning negative into positive, which requires effort, which requires responsibility. The search for “why” is an endless, relentless path with an unrewarding ending.
Identifying and eliminating automatic thoughts
The second factor necessary for catharsis to occur is the act of identifying, isolating and eliminating automatic thoughts, which are skewed by nature and can reduce self-awareness.
Over time, officers tend to intentionally search for faults in everything and everyone, leading to an embedded belief that negative thinking keeps us safe and that positive thinking leaves us vulnerable. As cops, we hate being vulnerable. We are “help-rejecting complainers.” We just want to complain, and when someone offers help, it is swiftly denied because we refuse to be vulnerable, resulting in a vacuum.
A possible answer to this is “decentering,” which is the mental act of stepping out of our heads, allowing us to not believe everything we think. Ask yourself multiple times a day: How many times did I respond defensively today? Did I show empathy today or did I just give someone unwanted advice? Did I allow myself to be educated by a stranger today?
Eliminating externalization (blame)
Third, we need to bring awareness to and eliminate externalization (blame), which leads to several self-serving actions and an existence of toxicity. For example, an officer who takes the sergeant’s exam and does well will make a positive attribution (I did well because I am a good test taker). If the officer does poorly, they will assign a negative attribute (I didn’t do well on the exam because the questions were impossible). This ongoing process of blame is a cascading process for officers over the course of their careers. We blame others for negative events, not being recognized for that gun we pulled off a suspect, or that promotion that a person with fewer years on the job got. We blame the world and our environment for what we have become. Turning blame into accountability contributes to an emotional cleansing that can bring meaning to anxiety, disappointment, and depression.
Resilience against complacency
Fourth, ask yourself what your resilience level is against complacency. This may be the silent killer for officers. It creeps into your career slowly and eventually takes away your ability to be spontaneous in your personal lives outside the department. The best way to combat complacency is to throw out your routine. Officers are creatures of routine and feel anxious when our routines are interrupted. Apply meaning to that interruption and follow it up with actions such as: always drive a different route to and from work, order something new every day for lunch, do an activity that you’ve avoided, sleep on a different side of the bed, sit in a different seat in roll call, do something rhythmic, and most importantly, be curious about the things and people around you.
Conclusion
Attempting to find meaning may be the answer to the direction society is going with the repeated and all-too-common phrase, “Who cares.” The post-COVID world has seen an increase in aggression, possibly due to an absence of embracing meaning. COVID was an example of the Dialectical State, which was a global effort involving millions of people helping each other through immense loss that eventually became an unforgettable “Who cares” event in our history.
Nearly 500 years ago, Sir Thomas More said, “Do not give up the ship because you cannot direct the winds. Do not arrogantly force strange ideas on people who you know have set their mind on a different course from yours. You must strive to influence policy indirectly, handle the situation tactfully, and thus what you cannot turn to good, you may at least make less bad.”
