By Melissa Littles
I was one of the naive ones when I married an officer. I would very well still be living with my head in the sand if it weren’t for the connection with so many LEO families I have developed over the years.
Let’s face it, my husband works for a relatively “safe” community. With the exception of that pregnant mother dying while trapped in her vehicle, or the few babies drowning in the lake, or the standard dead body calls, or, of course, the extremely high amount of middle-class teenagers blowing their heads off in this town...it’s relatively safe. It’s not like my husband has to live with many monsters in the night. He’s only worn his Class A’s and stood in honor of fifteen or sixteen of his fallen brothers, that I can think of, in the past seventeen years. Really, it’s not like he’s a cop in Chicago or Oakland. If he can’t handle the occasional dead twelve-year-old, then he really should have been a plumber.
Police officers who are suffering and need help to deal with trauma. PTSD doesn’t only affect a certain type of cop. It is a fully-known problem, which comes with a very clear stigma in the law enforcement community. One that needs to be addressed, nationally.
Police officers do not seek help for several reasons, which include but are not limited to:
- FEAR — Fear that the moment they tell a supervisor they need help dealing with a critical incident or emotional trauma they will lose their gun, badge, livelihood and identity.
- LABELING — Being labeled by their peers and/or family as being weak, not able to handle their “job.” Labeling themselves: For an officer to admit to needing help is to acknowledge to themselves that they are suffering.
- PRIDE — When an officer does seek assistance, it comes with the knowledge that admitting the aforementioned will lead to self-accountability, acceptance of emotional vulnerability and ownership that they could not work through issues alone. This goes against every grain of an officer’s makeup. They are the helpers, they are the sheepdogs, they are the ones to rescue others. To admit needing help is one of the hardest things to do for many officers, especially men.
Death, in all forms, is “part of the job”. Our officers see the worst of the worst of society on the daily. And in many cases, death may have seemed like a more just alternative. The stories of the children, beaten bloody with extension cords, burned with cigarettes as punishment, tied up and imprisoned in basements and closets. The stories of little girls enslaved in sex trafficking. The stories of little boys and what their mother’s boyfriend did to them while she lay high and passed out in the other room. These moments are “part of the job”.
Your LEO standing outside the garage, texting you to set the bleach and soap outside the door after returning home from a suicide call. Listening, as his partner explains why they need to get part of a teenager’s skull and brain matter off the neighbor’s roof and driveway before the parents return home. Again, this just comes with the territory.
Watching their brothers and sisters die in the line of duty, many times as they fought right beside them. Being the one who lived...Part of the job, as well.
Our officers must have a mindset of protecting and serving. They must be prepared for every encounter to be a deadly threat, while at the same time be prepared for every encounter to be one which requires compassion, aid and assistance. They must maintain the ability to go from assisting an elderly woman across a street, and within five minutes be responding to an armed subject threatening the public. However, they are judged – by themselves, by their peers, by the public – should any of what they encounter begin to affect them emotionally.
There is help available for officers and all first responders in need. And there is help for their families. For the past three years, I have partnered with Safe Call Now which provides truly confidential help for first responders in need. Safe Call Now is operated by first responders, former police officers and those with true knowledge and understanding of the kind of help officers need. There are ways for officers to receive help without the fear of losing their badge. From counseling to legal representation, there is a system in place where any officer and/or their family members can seek assistance.
It’s time to stop the judgment. It’s time to end the stigma. We’ve spent the past year in a fight with mainstream media and parts of society who wish for law enforcement to be nothing more than a badge. We have done so much to prove to them our officers are human beings. We have shown them the hearts behind the badge. It’s time for our officers to take care of their own hearts without feeling weak, without being judged, without being scared. For those suffering, reach out. Never give up. There is hope. Take the first step.
For more information visit: SafeCallNow.org
