The development of Internet email has been a huge boon to the passing of endless reams of jokes. Some of the jokes are pretty funny and the funniest ones of all are those that come dangerously close to the truth. One funny email about shooting makes the circuit every few months, and is worth an examination for its basis in truth.
From: Dick Fairburn
Sent: Thursday, January 8, 2009 12:36 PM
To: Recipients Undisclosed
Subject: FW: 25 Recommendations for your next gunfight
1.) Bring a gun. Better to bring two guns – and all of your friends who have guns.
TRUTH – How many investigative and administrative-type cops do you know who don’t wear a gun everyday at work? I know a lot of them. And waiting for backup whenever possible goes without saying.
2.) If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and some friends with long guns. Explosives can substitute for a few friends, but not all.
TRUTH – A long gun is a much better choice for a gunfight 99 percent of the time. This one reminds me of another good joke—an old time Sheriff showed up at the church social wearing his revolver. An elderly lady asked, “I see you brought your sidearm, Sheriff, are you expecting trouble?” The old lawman politely replied, “No ma’am, if I was expecting trouble I’d have brought my rifle.”
3.) Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun the caliber of which does not start with a “4.”
TRUTH – I’d venture to say more than half of U.S. officers now pack something that starts with a “4,” either a .40 or a .45. This is a dramatic change from the past preponderance of .38’s and 9mm pistols. This reminds me of another good one: A Texas Ranger was once asked why he carried a .45. He replied, “Because they don’t make a .46.”
4.) Use a gun that works every time. “All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket.”
TRUTH – Reliability is much more important than accuracy.
5.) Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice or three times. More is better. Ammunition is cheap. Life is expensive.
TRUTH – Pistols are really pretty feeble in the overall scheme of firearms. More than one shot is cheap insurance. More than 5 or 6 shots might require explanation.
6.) Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
TRUTH – Wyatt Earp said it best. “Fast is fine, but accuracy is final.”
7.) If your shooting stance is good, you’re probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.
TRUTH – These days the difference between most shooting stances almost requires stop-frame video to recognize the fine distinctions. Shooting from a stationary position makes you an easier target - learn to shoot on the move.
8.) Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. Lateral and diagonal movements are preferred.
TRUTH – Several studies prove your survival chances increase with distance – so use it.
9.) In ten years, nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They’ll only remember who lived.
TRUTH – History records the winners and buries the losers.
10.) If you aren’t shooting, you should be reloading, communicating and running.
TRUTH – Training Guru Clint Smith of Thunder Ranch puts it this way, “If you’re not shootin’ you should be loadin’. If you’re not loadin’ you should be movin’. If you’re not movin’, somone’s gonna cut your head off and put it on a stick.” Nobody ever accused Clint of being bashful!
11.) Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on the “pucker factor” than the inherent accuracy of the gun.
TRUTH – This is how an officer who hits center-mass 100 percent of the time on the range can miss with every shot on the street. Effective gunfighting comes much more from mental preparation than physical preparation.
12.) Someday, someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it, because it is empty.
TRUTH – Always carry at least one reload with you, even off duty. A backup gun is also a good idea.
13.) Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
TRUTH – They don’t pay you to fight fair, they pay you to win!
14.) Have a plan. Then have a backup plan, because the first one won’t work.
TRUTH – Always practice self-visualization training during field contacts to program different possible scenarios onto your “hard drive.” Your computer (brain) can sort through several possibilities in the blink of an eye, if you’ve already thought them through.
15.) Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
TRUTH – Get in the habit of mentally cataloging possible cover positions on every call.
16.) Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
TRUTH – Tunnel vision can kill you – break that focus and scan around you – 360 degrees when possible.
17.) Don’t drop your guard. Especially not after you’ve just “won.”
TRUTH – Yep, see #16.
18.) Always tactically reload and threat scan 360 degrees.
TRUTH – Always top off your weapon during a lull in the action. These last three overlap, but that’s OK, they’re important.
19.) Watch their hands. Hands kill. In God we trust ... everyone else keep your hands where we can see them.
TRUTH – If some trainer didn’t preach this one to you since day one, you’ve been working in a vacuum.
20.) Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
TRUTH – Fight like your life depends on it, because it does!
21.) The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
TRUTH – The police officer’s Golden Rule...Do unto them before they do unto you.
22.) Be polite. Be professional. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
TRUTH – Practice pre-planning and visualization. They’ll never know what thoughts your benign smile may conceal. This one was recently spotted by a reporter in a Marine barracks in Iraq. The reporter thought the sentiment was terrible. That makes the concept all the more practical.
23.) Be courteous to everyone - friendly to no one.
TRUTH – Everywhere, and all the time. They may be hiding equally evil thoughts behind their benign smile.
24.) Your number one plan for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, combat, breaking contact and de-escalation.
TRUTH – Avoiding a gunfight is always a better option, when available. Don’t let a macho attitude get you into a fight that didn’t have to happen.
25.) Lady Luck is fickle. She changes her mind at will. Never rely on luck.
TRUTH – Luck comes in two distinctly different forms. Take good luck whenever it comes your way, but develop the skills necessary to overcome bad luck.
Finally, here’s a free one I picked up from the late (and great) Lieutenant Bill Black of the Littleton, Colorado Police Department (a key player at Columbine). During a TEMS medical presentation at a conference, when the topic turned to the treatment of “sucking chest wounds,” Bill leaned over and whispered: “As far as I’m concerned, all chest wounds suck!”
TRUTH - No truer words were ever spoken. I hope the huntin’s great on the other side, Bill!
To whoever out in cyberspace first created this list, Great Job!
Stay Safe!
