By Kathryn Loving
Everyone seems fascinated with female cops, the mythical creatures we are, and naturally, questions abound from various people.
Once the chatter begins, the myths are abundant. Sometimes we play along, but you all really need to know the truth. Let’s get down to the brass tacks… or copper buttons, if you will:
1. Female Cops Are Delicate Flowers
Um. NO. We are tough as nails. Just because sport a nice manicure doesn’t mean we won’t dole out some elbow strikes when necessary and get in the middle of things. Girls dominate the gym at all hours to keep physically fit and ready for action. We have natural cat-like reflexes as well. We will scrap just like the boys. When you see the resting bitch face, we are about to get serious. We are mean in groups.
2. The Sisterhood Has Free Memberships
Technically there are no monetary fees to join, but you must wear a uniform. New members are not tied to a tree and chosen by survival of the elements, but we will judge you harder than our male peers. We actually eat our own, so the cost of admission is hard proof you are worthy. Just picture female officers like a combine. Have you ever watched that farm machine mow down a patch of corn and spit out the kernels? That’s how we roll. But once you are in, you are golden. P.S.: We don’t accept any bimbos.
3. Female Officers Are Like Yappy Boston Terriers
This might be partially true when you make us mad. No, not really. I can’t even commit to that notion. We do have chatting skills. Our communication adeptness outshines our male counterparts with the help of our natural ability to show compassion and empathy. Our minds work fast. There is little need to practice or hone in on this competency. It is just there. Two of our best attributes are negotiation dexterity and verbal compliance adroitness. Please pause a minute for our male friends to Google those words.
4. We Complain To Our Chiefs About Ugly Wardrobe Requirement
False. While it may be true that man shoes are not cute, we shine them up good and wear them like a boss. We love to be practical and tactical. We own it. In fact, while shopping, you might find us in the hunting section or firearms counter of Cabela’s or the local sporting goods store. Who doesn’t need new range clothes or like to browse the latest and greatest in weaponry? Our uniforms and badge are worn with pride, beaming pride–that is without the bedazzling accessorizing of crystals.
5. Body Armor Companies Have a War On The Ta-Tas
On the contrary, these companies embrace the difference between male and female torso types. I was so excited when I got my latest vest. It was not a sports bra size and covered all the necessaries. Add to that, the extra plate I ordered came designed with dents. Bonus. For all your comfort and protection. Armor manufacturing corporations do cater to us and play their part to save the girls.
6. Most Female Cops Have Had Previous Experience With Straitjackets
No prerequisite necessary. We do not have to be plum crazy in order to become cops in a male dominated world. We are tantrum free and gladly sign up for the duty. It is not required to have been the queen victor in umpteen cat fights to qualify. Law enforcement is who we are and we commit to the job just like the next guy. We are not afraid of getting dirty nor being in a risky career full of danger. You won’t find more dedicated and loyal public servants than the sisterhood. Our drive to succeed is unbeatable.
7. We Pee A Lot
OK, this one is true. Hydration is a key element to wellness. In fact, relieving yourself is not an easy task to do when the need arises in uniform. Picture all our gear. In winter climates, add another layer. Zippers, buttons, belts. Oh my!
This is not an “unzip and go” operation behind a tree, truck, or corner like the men fancy. First, we must find a bathroom where we can take our gun belt off without havoc or thievery. It is important to have a private, one-operator bathroom type or police station locker room to do our business in. These are not always in convenient, or close locations. Our weapon must always be secured and in our sight.
Second, we don’t like nasty public bathrooms, but we will hover in a pinch. If time warrants, we will find another cleaner facility. And third, we need more time than men because of our equipment. In times of dire need and circumstance, we can make adjustments, but it is not a speedy task. Frankly, it’s a nuisance.
