This article is part of an ongoing series on leadership development for new law enforcement leaders. Each article addresses a specific area of leadership competency offering learning points, strategies and tips. Click here to access the entire Leadership Development Series.
Officer Wells just received the results from the sergeant’s exam he took earlier in the week. Officer Wells achieved a reasonable score, but not high enough to be considered for appointment to the rank of sergeant; several other candidates scored higher. Lieutenant Harris has asked to meet with Officer Wells, who immediately feels anxious about the meeting, expects a negative outcome and adopts a defensive attitude.
When Wells arrives, Harris extends a warm greeting and invites Wells to sit in a comfortable chair in a meeting room where they can sit facing each other, but without a table serving as a barrier. They engage in friendly conversation before Harris brings up the purpose of the meeting.
Harris: “I read the results of the sergeant’s exam, and I believe you scored well. Tests don’t always measure one’s true ability to succeed in a leadership role. I believe you will make a good sergeant and would like us to explore how you can prepare for the next exam.”
Note that Harris is not judgmental and presents Wells with the opportunity to “explore” with Harris how to achieve success. Harris does not say, “You only scored 14th out of 20 taking the exam.” or “This is what you must do now.” Being judgmental or controlling causes defensiveness.
Harris: “Have you thought about what might help you for the next exam?
Wells: “I believe I did well on the written part. I scored fourth highest in my group. I was more nervous during the orals. I knew the answers to the questions asked, but I froze and showed a lot of nervousness. I could see the reactions on the faces of the panel members that they were concerned about that.”
Wells is showing no defensiveness at this point, is being open with Harris, and has identified the area for improvement.
Harris: “I can give you the names of several sergeants who are willing to coach you on your answers and your presentation skills. They have been successful in helping others improve their performance. Do you think this might be right for you?”
Harris shows genuine concern for Wells’ well-being and shows that she wants to help Wells where she believes he needs it. Harris is being empathic and spontaneous, treating Wells as an equal.
Wells: “I would like to give that a try. I didn’t even think about getting coaching before the exam. Thank you.”
Wells seems eager to accept help and shows no signs of defensiveness during the conversation.
Harris: I will get those names for you. You can pick them up this afternoon, or I can email them to you. If at any time you think of anything else that might help, please let me know. Let’s get you ready for the next exam.
Harris shows the desire to help, demonstrating altruism and flexibility to try other approaches. Harris is not acting in a manipulative manner or following a bureaucratic strategy.
Some interpersonal communication patterns can cause people to become defensive. A person may feel threatened or feel like they are not being treated fairly. More supportive styles give people the chance to feel connected with others. Here are some examples of each: [1]
Remember that it is important to be specific with feedback. This gives the other person something to work on, enhances your credibility as a communicator, and builds trust. Offer suggestions, be present, and be sensitive to the other person. [2]
Developing communication skills is a major part of leadership workshops. The skills developed are transferable to both work and personal relationships.
Suggested reading
1. Gibb JR. (1961). Defensive Communication, Journal of Communication, 11:141-149
2. Goleman D. (2009). Managing with heart. Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam.
