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5 thoughts every officer has while directing traffic

Traffic direction: A policing role we love to hate.

By RJ Beam

The motoring public seems to lose IQ points whenever blinking lights are at a scene. It causes a mix of stress, anger and genuine fear of death for the officer stuck standing directing traffic in the road.

Here are the thoughts that go through the mind of an officer directing traffic.

1) Slow the hell down!

Yes, we know that sitting there as we stopped traffic has inconvenienced you. Maybe it has made you late for an appointment. But trust me on this, if you hit me or cause some other crash due to speeding past this scene, a minor inconvenience is the least of your worries.

2) I don’t care who you are – stop is STOP, no is NO, closed is CLOSED.

The road is closed – wreckage, body parts, and/or fire hoses make it impossible to pass. But you can just bet someone will “have to go that way” (pointing at the closed road). And then the next person will be late for something unimportant and will also need to be allowed to “sneak” past.

3) I am not the public relations officer, now MOVE IT.

We open up a lane of traffic and start to motion vehicles to start moving, slowly. Every third or so car has a busy body driving. It never fails that they’ll need to stop, roll down the window and ask a list of questions. “What happened? Who was driving? Are they okay?”

4) I see you have GPS. Try using it, and move.

Anytime a road is blocked a dozen or so people will get utterly lost. Inevitably they will ask directions using phrases like “This road is the only way I know to get to _______”

5) I’m happy I am not a firefighter or EMT right now.

Standing outside the squad, I am keeping reasonable warm and dry in my jacket. The fire/EMS guys are in the ditch with a foot of slushy water, trying to work in the freezing cold. Their PPE might be warm, but on wet, cold, miserable nights it gets cold, and heavy. Wet and cold makes working miserable.

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