Every year, a handful of criminals stand out — not for their cunning or clever schemes, but for their truly baffling lack of judgment. From a man stealing a semi loaded with Corvettes as his post-prison getaway vehicle to another hiding in a dryer like a game of hide-and-seek gone wrong, these cases serve as both cautionary tales and comedic gold.
Here are the dumbest criminals of the past year, guaranteed to make you laugh, shake your head and wonder, “What were they thinking?”
1. Need a ride? Man steals semi full of Corvettes after prison release
In a plot straight out of an action movie, a 23-year-old man fresh out of prison decided the best way to get home was by hijacking a semitruck loaded with 10 shiny Chevrolet Corvettes worth over $1.25 million. According to Arizona authorities, the man befriended the driver at a truck stop near Tucson, gained his trust, then forcibly ejected him from the cab before speeding off with the luxury haul.
When deputies caught up, the man ignored lights and sirens, driving so recklessly that other vehicles had to pull over. Eventually, he stopped and was arrested on multiple felony charges, including robbery and theft of 11 vehicles (the truck and its precious cargo). Thankfully, the Corvettes were unharmed and safely returned to their rightful owner to finish the journey.
2. Man climbs cell tower for livestream, deputies bring him back to Earth
In a scene worthy of a social media stunt gone wrong, a man in Riverview, Florida, scaled a cellular tower to livestream his high-altitude antics. Deputies from the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, guided by the aviation unit, safely talked the daredevil down, with video showing him descending the tower and meeting law enforcement on solid ground.
When asked by a deputy if he really made it to the top, the man nonchalantly confirmed, earning a “That’s pretty crazy” in response. While the man was taken into custody without incident, the sheriff’s office hasn’t said what charges he’s facing — though climbing for clout probably wasn’t worth the arrest.
3. Man swings from cable for 45 minutes in high-flying police evasion stunt
In a dramatic — and bizarre — attempt to escape police, a man in downtown Vancouver spent over 45 minutes swinging from an overhead cable above a restaurant while throwing bricks and shattering windows below. The impromptu acrobat even took off his shirt mid-stunt, turning his aerial antics into a performance no one asked for.
Unmoved by offers of help, the man eventually slipped while trying to rest his feet on another cable and landed on a strategically placed fire truck. Police promptly took him into custody and transported him for medical evaluation.
4. Man arrested for boat theft after failed disguise as a woman
A man suspected of stealing a boat in Florida tried — and hilariously failed — to evade capture by dressing as a woman. Deputies found the alleged thief sporting a light blue, feather-patterned dress, a white cardigan and oversized sunglasses, but the disguise didn’t fool anyone.
He was arrested near Lakeport, not just for the stolen boat but also for two warrants and the theft of a John Deere Gator. Deputies also found other items they believe may be stolen and are working with Seminole Police to determine if they’re tied to additional crimes.
5. Florida fugitive caught hiding in a dryer after deputies tumble through search
In a bizarre game of hide-and-seek, a Florida man wanted for multiple felonies was found folded inside a dryer by Escambia County deputies. The man, described as looking “guilty, embarrassed and warm,” was pulled out “one limb at a time,” along with dryer sheets, mismatched socks and a wrinkled Star Wars shirt.
The felon, who previously served seven years for various crimes, was taken to jail on a $120,000 bond. While the sheriff’s office had fun with the quirky arrest, they reminded everyone the charges remain allegations — free of static cling, of course.
6. Fan’s field antics end with a backflip, a Taser and a trip to jail
A Reds-Guardians game took an acrobatic turn when a fan sprinted onto the field, attempted a fist-bump with Cleveland’s Tyler Freeman, and capped it off with a backflip in left field. His gymnastic escape was cut short by a Cincinnati police officer, who deployed a TASER, leaving the fan grounded and quickly surrounded by officers.
The fan, now banned from the stadium, faces charges of criminal trespassing and obstructing official business. Baseball legend Johnny Bench applauded the officers’ quick catch in a viral post. Thanks to the swift response, the game went on without a hitch.
7. Ohio man accused of freeing animals during pet store break-in
A pet store break-in turned into a bizarre scene when an Ohio man allegedly smashed kennels and set loose dogs, birds, ferrets, rabbits and gerbils. Columbus police arrived at the Hilliard shopping center early on July 9 to find animals roaming free inside and outside the store.
Authorities managed to round up the escapees, but the strangest twist came an hour later when the suspect was apprehended — with several gerbils reportedly stashed in his pants.
8. Traffic stop leads to drugs found in hilariously labeled bag
When officers pulled over Mia Rochelle Baggenstos , 37, and Reginald Lamont Reynolds , 35, near Southeast 162nd and Division, they searched the car and discovered cash, a loaded revolver, scales — and a bag that had “Definitely not a bag full of drugs” printed on it, with drugs inside, the Police Bureau said in a post on X Wednesday.
PPB East Precinct
Portland police got more than they bargained for during a routine traffic stop Tuesday night, uncovering a stolen car, cash, a loaded revolver, and a bag boldly labeled “Definitely not a bag full of drugs” — which, of course, was full of drugs. Inside, officers found fentanyl and meth, totaling over 10 grams, resulting in a mix of charges.
9. DUI driver arrested after getting finger stuck in a White Claw can
An Arizona man suspected of DUI was caught in a precarious situation — literally — when deputies found him with his finger stuck in a can of White Claw after crashing into a guardrai. When approached, the driver fumbled with the seltzer can and assured the officer he was “totally perfect,” despite evidence to the contrary.
The man was arrested on multiple DUI charges and for causing damage to county property. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office reminded residents to report possible DUIs — because “hard seltzer” excuses don’t hold up in court.
10. Suspect steals deputy’s cruiser after hilariously bold warning
A Marion County man made good on his promise when he told a responding deputy, “You better have your doors locked — I like to steal cars.” Moments later, he hopped into the deputy’s cruiser and took off, kicking off a chase through the county.
The joyride ended with a PIT maneuver and the suspect in cuffs, proving he wasn’t bluffing about his car-stealing tendencies. Deputies shared the incident, reminding everyone that some warnings should be taken very, very seriously.
NEXT: As we reflect on the challenges and triumphs of 2024, it’s clear that law enforcement is at a pivotal moment. What’s next for policing in 2025? Dive deeper with our Policing Matters podcast episode, where we break down the hard truths about leadership, technology, mental health and trust — and what every officer needs to know to navigate the road ahead.